Review: The Newly Deads
Reviewed by: Tyler Baptist

The story involves a man named Lloyd who manages a Newlyweds Lodge. 15 years ago he killed this crossdressing man named Jackie. Now Jackie's back, and ready for her. . . I mean his revenge! Many newlywed couples, ranging from young punks to old farts are staying there, and they are all potential victims to Jackie's wrath. What exactly does dead zombie Jackie want? Well, to be with Lloyd, to be dead lovers together. Who's gonna stop this from happening? Well it's some lady who has ESP and a squeaky annoying voice!

This movie is so boring. It's like watching a bug zapper in winter, it's just that exciting. The movie is filled with bad acting, extremely poor dialogue. For example, Lloyd gets married to this lady and the the next day, the ESP lady is talking to the maid and she says "Oh, the guy who got married today" refering to Lloyd, and she was even there the day before! Awful. The only reason this movie is getting a half a point more than it should is because of the abundance of boobies. But stay clear of this movie, it's just stupid.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

Rating Scale:

  • 5 - This is a Troma classic! Why haven't you seen it yet!?
  • 4 - A hell of a Troma flick!
  • 3 - Good Troma movie, but may not please all.
  • 2 - Poor Troma movie, but there are worse.
  • 1 - DEAR GOD, AVOID AT ALL COSTS!