Review: A Nymphoid Barbarian In
Dinosaur Hell
Reviewed by: Nerima
Ready for a scantily clad nymphomaniac who fights terrifying dinosaurs when
she's not busy having hot monkey sex? Wow, are you ever going to be disappointed
by A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell.
The film leads off with a tacked-on montage of footage culled mostly from
Troma's War, the point of which is to establish Nymphoid's setting as
post-apocalyptic Tromaville. It's pointless and has nothing to do with the rest
of the movie. From there, Nymphoid becomes an exercise in tedium, as nearly mute
actors in furry boots get chased endlessly by men in lizard masks across rocky
wilderness. Occasionally, the cast pretends to fight mutated monsters brought to
life with state-of-the-art stop-motion animation. State-of-the-art, that is, if
this was made in 1933 instead of 1991.
The plot: the titular nymphoid, Lea (Linda Corwin) is separated from her beloved
Marn (Paul Guzzi) when she's kidnapped by Clon (Alex Pirnie), a kind of poor
man's Skeletor who leads a band of lizard guys. Clon's ready to lay some hot
lovin' on Lea, but not right away -- first he's gotta drag the reluctant babe
all
the way back to his castle, a journey the film shares with us at excruciating,
mind-numbing length. Can Marn catch up with Clon's crew before his lady love
gets
violated? Who's the mysterious Masked Stranger? Will the last surviving humans
solve the mystery of their origins? You'll care about none of these questions as
you slip into a coma while watching the cast walk, walk, walk through the woods.
And walk. And walk.
Shot on 16mm at a price tag of $40,000, Nymphoid does manage to provide some
neat visuals with old-school composite shots and miniatures. And the DVD's
commentary track with director Brett Piper is a hoot; Piper slams Troma at every
turn, shares some amusing Lloyd Kaufman stories, and seems just as bored with
his film as we are.
However, on its own merits, Nymphoid is...well, without merit.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Rating Scale:
5 - This is a Troma classic! Why haven't you seen it yet!?